My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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