you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
