ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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