My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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