i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
