what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
