and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
