how can u be prego again
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
