I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
