I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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