I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
