It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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