I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
