If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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