well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
