I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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