when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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