with your own penis?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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