I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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