im holly from the hills drunk
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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