Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
