I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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