Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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