The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You've changed since you got that strap on
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
