grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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