his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
