i think i have herpe
just one?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
