Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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