is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
