I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
