I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
