census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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