So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
