i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize