wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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