Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
