Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
