I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
