I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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