I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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