I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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