You can't motorboat a personality
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize