My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
