I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize