omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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