there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
