chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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