Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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