She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
