i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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