please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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