got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
