Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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