I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
