Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
