I faked an abortion last night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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