just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
