Already got asked if we're dating
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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