I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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