9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
