I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
