I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
