I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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