We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
