isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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