He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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