Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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